The Golden Fool

I Am Aware

I rule the kingdom of missing beats 

They are discovered late like John Keats 

I am aware I am thought a fool, 

yet, I do assure, I am no tool 

Yes, I am carried by ice cold feet 

It is true, I just can't stand the heat 

My impulse tells me to rock the boat 

though I always lapse to stay afloat 

I simply like for life to be neat 

As I want for myself, I do treat 

I find it difficult to stay calm 

I pick my skin over every qualm 

Inside my mind I have always dwelled, 

my fear of closeness keeping me celled 

I cannot trust until I feel love 

around my heart fitting like a glove 

People ask me why I am this way 

Stifled, I know not what I can say 

I promise I want to touch and hold 

But all that I ever feel is cold 

Dull, insecure, gullible and sweet 

All terms for unattainable meat 

I have been called each one without thought 

They do not know the battles I have fought 

Tolerant and kind are not the same 

I am not naive, I know the game 

In silence, I wait with my bait 

Waiting to reel in the hands of fate

Love is Like Gold

Love is like gold; 

difficult to attain and so delicate to hold 

Yet, once it is felt, 

it can never melt 

Through heat and pressure it withstands 

Its ownership on our hearts it brands 

It waits patiently with one goal; 

saving itself for only one special soul 

It shares not itself in the way of a whore, 

but is faithful to the one and only who washes to its shore 

It is always generous and carries no excuses; 

staying true to its words, it never abuses 

Praise and celebration it showers, 

onto the king or queen it empowers 

It seeks out not empty flings, 

but the fulfilling simple things; 

like the child-like spark of vulnerability in one's eyes, 

which twinkles briefly before it quickly shies 

And the quivering lips of a nervous smile, 

along with a precious laugh, which transforms into the face of an angel to beguile 

It crumbles from only one voice, which awakens both pleasure and tearful pain, 

yet, also comforts, much like the soothing drops of rain 

It misses all of these, along with the senses; 

like one's mysteriously sweet smell, which instinctively lowers all logical defenses 

Perhaps it is the rare, conscious scent of pheromones, which radiate so strong, 

like the heat in the rapture of hands intertwined for so long 

It sees your beauty and your niceness within and without 

It judges not and gives you the benefit of the doubt 

It still feels your presence, even when you are not near 

Even if it tries, it is impossible to veer 

There is no vacancy in your place 

Love leaves no room for strangers to replace 

Forgive Me, I Implore

Love is like gold; 

difficult to attain and so delicate to hold 

Yet, once it is felt, 

it can never melt 

Through heat and pressure it withstands 

Its ownership on our hearts it brands 

It waits patiently with one goal; 

saving itself for only one special soul 

It shares not itself in the way of a whore, 

but is faithful to the one and only who washes to its shore 

It is always generous and carries no excuses; 

staying true to its words, it never abuses 

Praise and celebration it showers, 

onto the king or queen it empowers 

It seeks out not empty flings, 

but the fulfilling simple things; 

like the child-like spark of vulnerability in one's eyes, 

which twinkles briefly before it quickly shies 

And the quivering lips of a nervous smile, 

along with a precious laugh, which transforms into the face of an angel to beguile 

It crumbles from only one voice, which awakens both pleasure and tearful pain, 

yet, also comforts, much like the soothing drops of rain 

It misses all of these, along with the senses; 

like one's mysteriously sweet smell, which instinctively lowers all logical defenses 

Perhaps it is the rare, conscious scent of pheromones, which radiate so strong, 

like the heat in the rapture of hands intertwined for so long 

It sees your beauty and your niceness within and without 

It judges not and gives you the benefit of the doubt 

It still feels your presence, even when you are not near 

Even if it tries, it is impossible to veer 

There is no vacancy in your place 

Love leaves no room for strangers to replace 

Regret

mistakes and aches 

they are minor earthquakes 

so simple to make 

yet how difficult to take 

though we are surely to break 

still regretfully we partake 

in what our hearts will only forsake 

ignoring the signs shewn to brake 

but for the want of hope's sake 

as we fight against the shake 

which attempts to rouse us awake 

opening our eyes to all that was fake

Surrender What My Heart is Due

Return them to me, my pearls 

from around my heart they once wrapped 

I am not like other girls 

for without them my heart is trapped 

From around my heart they once wrapped 

as sacred Rosary beads 

For without them my heart is trapped 

I gave them to you as seeds 

As sacred Rosary beads 

each one represents a prayer 

I gave them to you as seeds 

to become their only bearer 

Each one represents a prayer 

held for every year I live 

To become their only bearer 

these gifts to you I did give 

Held for every year I live 

lost prayers, which cannot be heard 

These gifts to you I did give 

These you took from me without word 

Lost prayers, which cannot be heard 

long blocked from being granted 

These you took from me without word 

my sense of self now scanted 

Long blocked from being granted 

buried deep in some unknown ground 

My sense of self now scanted 

rummaging ever to be found 

Buried deep in some unknown ground 

crying out far for my heart 

Rummaging ever to be found 

only just falling apart 

Crying out far for my heart 

refusing to give up the fight 

Only just falling apart 

hoping you will do what is right 

Refusing to give up the fight 

my sacred heirlooms will pray 

hoping you will do what is right 

Dig them up from whence they lay 

My sacred heirlooms will pray 

your crisis of conscience will wake 

Dig them up from whence they lay 

All my heart wants is not to ache 

Your crisis of conscience will wake 

for my jewels are mine to keep 

All my heart wants is not to ache 

so what they sow, it may reap 

For my jewels are mine to keep 

That is all I wanted from you 

So what they sow, it may reap 

surrender what my heart is due 

That is all I wanted from you 

I am not like other girls 

Surrender what my heart is due 

Please, return them to me, my pearls

I Am

I am your stepping stone 

milestone 

accident prone 

regretfully known 

Perfection, you could not hone 

to suit your own 

selfish moan 

of a harsh tone 

which has sown 

the Monster within me, grown 

now, full blown 

seated upon my throne 

from whence I was flown 

to the ground, now thrown 

into this Dead Zone 

of Shame not shown 

where Secrets groan 

muffled, from the depths of my Soul 

Forever alone.

Pure Fruit

Pure, untouched, ripe fruit, fresh on the tree - 

such a sad and lonely thing to be. 

Unwanted for you are insular. 

Misinterpreted as insecure. 

Gone is the want to commit and choose. 

People want convenience, fast and loose. 

So they seek fruit contaminated - 

broken-down and dilapidated. 

Touched and handed down from man to man - 

roughed and tumbled by vain soiled hands. 

Made unclean by tarnished filthy skin - 

destroying the goodness once within. 

No amount of cleansing can restore, 

the vibrancy that the fruit once bore. 

Left hanging until you fall and rot, 

fully determined, they loved you not. 

They know not the meaning of the word - 

those selfish vagabond pecking birds. 

Flight of fancy turned to frustration. 

Season of death, brought a cessation, 

to the season of life, when love grew - 

fresh like the fruit, pure, ripe, warm and new. 

Though, you rotted, the seeds stayed behind, 

leading you to resurrect refined. 

You hang and wait on a stronger branch, 

knowing how to lure loves blessed hands.